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In memory of those who have Crossed the Bar
BILMER, Todd Jeffrey - passed away at his home on October 15, 2025 at the age of 58, after a fierce battle with cancer. Todd was born on July 11, 1967, in Cornwall, Ontario where lie spent his early years before making his home in Nova Scotia, where he met his wife, built a family and dedicated much of his life to service in the Royal Canadian Navy. Todd is dearly missed and survived by his wife, Carrolyn, and his children, Justina (Michael), Heavenly (Erik), Eve, and Magnus; and Isis grandsons, Javeion and Titan. He also leaves behind his loving parents, Rosemary and Larry, and his longest friend and brother, Barton (Sam). As well as his Sister-In-Laws, Donna, Wanda (Chris), Tianna, Destiny (Tyler).
The family would like to emphasise a good life was lived, one so full of adventure and love that it is incredibly difficult to fit it into one memorial pamphlet. His family wants to encourage the people who crossed paths with him, to not waft - take action and honor him by living your life to the fullest, chasing more education, exploration and elevation.
Todd was a great provider, and husband. He effortlessly did it all, allowing his wife the privilege to stay at home to raise their children. He and his wife Carrolyn celebrated their 28'h wedding anniversary five days before his passing, and this year marked their 30. anniversary meeting. She will remember him for his kindness, unwavering love, and his deep respect for her. Todd was a family man, never one to bring work home and often prioritized family time and making memories. He loved taking his family to the many beautiful parks and views Nova Scotia has to offer. He loved bringing his mother, Rosemary, all over the province when she came down to visit him, showing her the most beautiful beaches and trails. He also looked forward to the seasonal events in his community, and appreciated the intimacy of small town gatherings and raved about those experiences. He enjoyed exploring new tastes and loved trying new restaurants and frequenting his favorites. Todd was also a lifelong animal lover and could regularly be found with a cat curled in his lap or a dog by his side. He shared his home with many beloved pets throughout the years, most recently with Uthred, Boudie and Raven. The family takes comfort in imagining him reunited with his childhood dog Sandy, and their family pets, Hannah, Buffy, Willow, and Odin. Carrolyn always jokingly said that Todd grew his own best friend, in his son Magnus, who shared many hobbies and interests with Todd. His daughter, Eve will remember and forever value her special lunch dates, going for walks with him and curating his playlist with him. Heavenly will cherish the bond they built during her time as an air cadet, practicing drill with him, learning how to shine boots, and properly iron her uniform. His eldest daughter Justina, holds on to the memories of him always being there for her and her son, Javeion in many ways, always extending help when it was needed.
For many years, Todd endured the long, but worthwhile, family road trips from Nova Scotia to Ontario each year, making sure to blend the family he came from with the one he was building. Todd was close with his mother, Rosemary, and loved being back home with her and sharing her love of bird watching, and as well his father, Larry, and doing things on their farm together, like playing hockey on the pond, four wheeling in the fields, and hikes through the thick nature-filled forests. He really enjoyed the winter sleigh rides his father hitched their mules up for at holiday family reunions and gatherings. Todd always made sure to make his rounds while he was in town - visiting his aunts, uncles and cousins. He loved reuniting with Brent and Jordy. One of his favorite people to reunite with on his trips to Ontario was with his loving brother Barton. Todd and Barton had an undeniable bond since they were young boys. Barton and his husband Sam would always welcome them with so much love and Todd raved for years about the amazing restaurants and places Barton and Sam would take their family. Todd and his family enjoyed going to the many museums, art galleries, historical sites, and parks in Ontario. He was certainly one for nostalgia, often pointing out places with fond memories. He loved going through family photo albums and watching home videos.
Todd's steady presence was most felt in the everyday moments with his family. He was the one behind the wheel, making sure his children made it to every practice and competition for their various sports, and extra curriculars, as well as their first jobs. When he could be there (as in - not away at sea) He devoted countless hours to getting everyone where they needed to be and was always in attendance of concerts, recitals, award ceremonies, and graduations — a quiet but powerful reflection of his reliability and sense of responsibility, which he took much pride in. Todd's family did things outside of the home together often, but in their home it wasn't much different. Their house wasn't one where everyone was off in their own rooms doing their own things, everyone often crowded the main living spaces talking, debating, and bonding over family oriented shows. Survivor was a family favorite, they loved talking strategy, deciding which family members they would bring to the island if they ever competed, and in earlier seasons they would vote each other off to bed early. Their home was also a home base for their closest friends and family, and Todd loved his friends like family. He enjoyed many visits and holidays spending time with their close friends Yvonne and James, and deeply cared for the family's close friend, Jessica. Their home had a revolving door of love, that continues today. Todd loved music and lived by the rule, "the driver picks the music" when in the car, but often folded for the pop music his daughters requested. His brother Barton shared that Todd was a huge fan of Elvis growing up. Carrolyn shared that his favorite song was Steve Earl - Copperhead Road, and his daughter Heavenly shared Fat Boy Slim - Praise You was a song that brought back a great core memory of learning and performing the choreography in their living room and embarrassingly at their Y2K Bilmer Celebration. Todd loved books, the history channel, and musicals including Across The Universe, O' Brother Where Art Though, and Jesus Christ Superstar. When he wasn't on an adventure, he was reading or watching one.
Todd spent 32 years, and over 1600 days at sea in the Royal Canadian Navy. When he retired he was ranked as a Petty Officer 1st Class, and was a Weapons Engineering Manager, FMF Cape Scott (NESTRA). Throughout his career he carried many other areas of expertise, in Sonar Technology and as a Navigation Technician among other things. Todd loved traveling the globe - his favorite places being Holland, Scotland, England, Greece and Dubai. He sailed on the HMCS Nipigon, HMCS Terra Nova, HMCS Iroquois, and the HMCS Athabaskan. He cherished the friendships he built during his time in the Navy, especially with Rick C., (Carla), Mike C., (Vikki) and Lewis D., (Kathy) who remained loyal companions even throughout his life as a civilian. He fondly remembers time spent hunting with Rick in Newfoundland. Todd as well enjoyed the 6 years he spent at Fleetway Maintenance Facility Cape Scott. He loved working there and was so happy to reunite with some of his shipmates who also worked there, especially his close friend Bill. Todd was thankful to all of his supervisors, colleagues, and subordinates who helped him throughout his honorable career.
The family would like to thank the incredible healthcare professionals, nurses, and hospice team that provided respectful, and gentle care to Todd throughout his journey - which Todd acknowledged and was so grateful for, saying "not only are they amazing caregivers, but they really know how to support a family", and that care and kindness continued even after Todd's passing. Todd and Carrolyn were both so grateful for the extended arms of support from their circle, and want to extend a special thank you to Wanda, Chris, and Erik for arranging drives for Todd to and from treatments, and other errands, and Justina, Michael and Jessica for their ready and helpful hands at any moment.
Todd's story was one of family, service and loyalty. His journey took him across oceans and through many chapters of life, but his greatest legacy will be the steadiness and quiet strength that defined him — qualities that will continue to guide and inspire those who loved him.
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